Hello Virtual Goddesses and Gods! So wow I have not really been to my blog in a while. In coming back to it today, I found this draft I had written in 2017 (it’s 2020 now, can you say “pandemic?”) Reading this draft made me so happy! One reason is because I actually like my writing, and it is a trip down memory lane. But the main, important reason is because I no longer experience the kind of turmoil, fear, insecurity, depression and anxiety that I felt those few years ago. Victory, Huzzah!!!
Some of that stuff can be attributed to a certain, shall we say, phase of life that simply brought that stuff with it. Ladies, repeat after me “night sweats suck!” 😂 Happily, the night sweats are gone too. Some of it can also be attibuted to some big life changes I was going through at the time – finally freeing myself from a bad relationship, making a move involving selling a home I didn’t want to leave. Happily, I LOVE my current home and know I’m in so much of a better place now than I was then! But ALL of it can be attributed to one BIG thing: back then, I had no self love. Happily, I have since then found that self love in abundance, and once I did, my life changed for the better in every way! Never will I be lonely or anxious or afraid again. Woohoo!
Even though I am mentally and emotionally in a much better – infinitely better – place now than I was then, one thing remains constant, and that is that Second Life photography is STILL a great creative outlet and therapist. Let’s face it, even happy, emotionally stable people feel the gamut of human emotions. At times I still feel anger, frustration, sadness, etc. For example, I can get frustrated that I don’t get to have a certain hot male visit me these days due to the coronavirus pandemic and its associated restrictions in regards to travel and socializing. I have felt sadness at the tangible, physical loss of two much loved friends who have recently passed / transitioned out of this plane of existence, even though I know spiritually and vibrationally we are / can be connected still. Having said that, I am really, really happy that there is so much less that can bother me these days. Letting go of the outside and getting connected to the inside is really a wonderful thing.
Ok now that most of the rambling is out of the way, let’s get to the post I wrote then and never actually published til now. I’m publishing it now because it is such a great reminder of the wonderful journey that I’m on, a great indicator of how far I’ve come, and a great celebration of the success I’ve achieved in that I am now so happy in life. Go me! And also, if anyone else out there reads this who feels the turmoil and darkness, doubt, insecurity and anxiety, and yes, depression, that I used to feel, maybe, just maybe, this will give them some hope, some seed of knowing that YES, it CAN and DOES get better! And lastly, here, here, and here are links to things that really made the difference for me, that started me on that path to wellness and happiness. May they help open up brighter paths for any one who wants or needs them ✨♥️✨♥️✨ Ok and now let’s get to that post!
Original Post circa 2017!
Today we discuss the love that got me to start this blog in the first place, Second Life Photography. This particular habit can be silly and fun, hoity toity serious, stimulatingly erotic, beautifully innocent, artsy fartsy and everything in between. More than just taking pretty pictures, one can be enslaved to the desire to capture a moment, a mood, a feeling, an ambiance, a silence, or a cacophony of light, shadow, color and even sound when you hear the wind chimes as you get lost in the seaside home and scenery.
One of the fringe benefits of this creative outlet for me is that it’s very therapeutic. 2017 has thus far been an interesting whirlwind of a year, with ups and downs and lots of obstacles hurdled and more challenges yet to be met. At times I’ve felt helplessly swept along by the current, in over my head, bringing up feelings of turmoil, fear, doubt, insecurity, anxiety.
During such times I’ve found creative expression is soothing, even if it’s just doodling with crayons making polka dots just because they’re pretty and fun. What matters is that the doodling is a respite, it brings with it a sweet transcendence from mental fog and clouds, and the almost cleansed feeling that you can get after you’ve had a good cry (the ladies get this). But let’s face it, SL photography is a lot more fun than crying!
When I’ve been captured in some roiling, boiling whirlpool or other, the process of expressing via my avvie and capturing the turmoil beneath the surface provides me with a chance to breathe, focus, step outside of the turmoil and from this calm space explore what’s lurking there in the underside where no one sees, sometimes not even me. The thrashing winds and tides of emotions are so much better examined from the outside, instead of inside, swept up in them. The body is a fascinating thing; a healthy, working body and mind are precious, and this creative outlet is therapy for the mind and spirit.
In the act of creating the pic that expresses the inner turmoil, I find focus, transcendence of fog and clouds, and calm, and this takes me out of that turmoil.
Focusing on creating the perfect scene, finding the perfect location, getting the perfect lighting, realizing the perfect camera angle, etc. – all of this takes my attention, which means my attention is no longer on how miserable I am feeling, or how scared or anxious. It gives my mind other things to think about until the anxiety dissipates and the stormy seas calm, leaving me feeling like I’m floating instead of being swept away by currents beyond my control. When my mind is intent upon thinking racing thoughts and I can’t turn it off, what I CAN do is give it something else to think about. Sure, mind, go ahead, be as busy as you want! But be busy finding the right backdrop for the pic, instead of creating non-existent, dark and scary imaginary ones. Be busy finding the right lighting for my pic, instead of futilely looking for light in a dark tunnel of despair. Be busy working those camera controls, instead of pressing those anxiety buttons. And when you have exhausted yourself out, and are finally ready to rest and be calm, we shall sit down together in peace and admire the works we created, you and I together, with your racing thoughts and my steering the direction of them.
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